My father
\nWritten by Stephen Lai<\/p>\n
I am very glad and privileged that my father has asked me to write something for his book. I am also glad that you have taken the time to read this book. It is now 1999, and getting closer and closer to the millennium. All these events happened in late 1997 and early 1998, so it is not too easy to remember all the happenings. I will try my best. First, to introduce myself\u2026
\nMy name is Stephen, I am the son of Rev. Paul Lai. I am currently studying at the University of British Columbia, towards an Arts degree, majoring in the language of French with a minor in Economics. I hope to go on to the faculty of Education after I graduate. I also hope to go to Europe to continue studying French. I was born in 1977 in Ottawa, Ontario, and I am the older of the two sons.
\nNow I will share the different relationships that I have in my special family. This I believe will help you to understand the situation better. I will start with my mother.
\nAs most of you already know, my mother has severe rheumatoid arthritis. She has had it since the birth of my brother in 1978. So it has been a long and painful twenty or so years for her. My memories of her, sadly enough, all include her having the arthritis. Despite this physical setback, I still regard my mother to be an extremely strong person, and by no means lacking of anything. She might have a lot of difficulty physically, but I know that she has done more than her role of being a great mother. She is always there when I need to talk, although for the past few years she complains that I don\u2019t talk nearly enough. She always knows best for her children, and I know that she has endured an infinite amount of pain while at the same time keeping that smile of hers. Towards my father, she is and has been completely supportive. As some know, it is very hard to be a pastor\u2019s wife: their role is sometimes tougher than the pastors! She always commented on my dad\u2019s sermons every week, be they good or if they lacked some things. Now I know that my parents definitely were made for each other. They compliment each other very well, and I do believe that they can not live without one another.
\nGrowing up, I was always looked upon to be the example for my younger brother, Peter. I was always expected to be \u201cgood\u201d so that he would have someone to follow. I didn\u2019t mind having this role, being the older brother. I feel that I did a decent job in helping raise my brother. Since he is a slow learner, life has been very hard for him, and, consequently, for our entire family too. He has caused us much stress, but our family has so far endured it. In his own right, though, my brother has many good points. He was very cute growing up (he went through puberty at a late age), so we could always end up forgiving him because of his \u201ccuteness\u201d. He is also pure hearted, and loving. Although he does not understand much about the difficulties in our family, he has the most love to give out of all of us. Some of his faults today are things that he just can\u2019t understand to be wrong. We have tried very hard to teach him things, but they can\u2019t get into his head. Because of all this, my forgiveness skills have definitely been tested, but at the same time, I believe that I have developed into a very forgiving person.
\nAs a father, I think that my dad has done a good job (his job is not quite over!). With the circumstances that he has been given, it probably seemed like an impossible task of raising this family. I will talk more later about my relationship with him, but I would like to say here that he wants the best for his family. He is always, to this day, looking for things that can improve my life, such as further music courses. Although he seems to sometimes \u201ccare too much\u201d, I know that it is for my good. He is also protective; in general, I think that he is the model father.
\nAlong with the sickness of my mother, my father and I, over the years, were the ones who had to carry the family. This all changed near the beginning of 1997. As you all know, my dad had resigned his position as the Senior Pastor of the Vancouver Fountain Chinese Alliance Church, for the health of my mother prevented him from working as a pastor full time. Months later he was diagnosed with the cancer. This news was very shocking to me. When I first heard, the news was not directly given to me. I was at school one day, and on my way home. Before I boarded the bus that day, I received a voice message on my pager. I went to check it, and it was my father. He told me that he had gone to the doctor, and that he had cancer. I was devastated. It wasn\u2019t the best way for me to hear the news! The bus ride home was the worst bus ride ever: I felt lost, even sick\u2026I didn\u2019t know what to think. I was very sad, and many thoughts went through my mind. Throughout my whole life, my father had been this strong father figure, invincible to any of the world\u2019s attacks. Now, I thought, what was going to happen? Was he going to die?
\nTo be honest, I knew that my father would not die. It was both faith and also a strong determination that led me to believe that. So, in the many months that he suffered from his cancer, I knew in my heart that he would be okay.
\nThat night at home I didn\u2019t know how to express my feelings. Well, I\u2019m sure that my father has told many of you this, so I might as well tell it. We were about to have dinner, when we were talking and my brother misinterpreted something that I had said. Well, he got angry with me and threw something at me. I automatically responded with shouts of anger. I was actually releasing the anger and sadness from the news I had received earlier that day. So it was not my brother who I was mad at, it was the fact that my dad had gotten cancer. (My brother, Peter, has done an infinite amount of things to me that would normally make a person extremely angry, but since I am so used to it, I don\u2019t often get angry directly at him.) I went downstairs to my room and cried. I don\u2019t usually cry at all. But that night I cried and cried, loudly. I will never forget the pain that I felt that night, as I cried. Finally, after some time, my parents called me up to the living room, and we talked awhile. It was not long before all three of us (my parents and I) were crying together. It was one of the saddest nights of my life.
\nSo those few months were the toughest of my life. Even though my father had cancer, he still worked very hard in leading my family. I could tell that he was getting progressively worse as time went on. The radiation that he was receiving was slowly taking from him all his strength. He had to go to the cancer center every weekday for treatment. I offered to drive him, and did so most of the time. I felt that this was my responsibility and duty to do this, and I felt privileged to offer my help and support through this very difficult time.
\nDuring these months, I received a great amount of support from my christian friends at UBC. I am involved with a christian club on campus called Chinese Christian Outreach. At the time I was leading a cell group within this larger club. Every week as we met, my cell group would ask me how I was doing and also how my father was doing. My friends who weren\u2019t part of my cell group also encouraged me during the bad times. This was a great help and I don\u2019t think that I could have endured those weeks without them. I now thank each and every one of them and I could like to tell them that each one has been a part of this experience, a part of my father\u2019s recovery.
\nI remember telling myself that if my dad\u2019s cancer were to disappear, I would be forever happy and forever grateful to the Lord. I myself couldn\u2019t wait until that day arrived. It finally came, in March 1998. I remember very clearly the day of rejoicing, the day that we found out that the cancer was in remission. It was a March afternoon in 1998, and finally the day that my dad was to have his check up. I was nervous the entire day. I was to meet everyone after school at the hospital where my mom was staying. Well, when I arrived in the hospital room, I could see smiles on the faces of the people there. Right away I knew that the good news had finally come. I asked, just to confirm, and yes, it was true: The cancer in my father\u2019s body had disappeared. In my heart I knew that this moment would come, but in real life, it was really a miracle. I was as happy as I have ever been in my entire life. It was finally time to celebrate. That night we went out to have dinner with one of my father\u2019s friends visiting from Ottawa, Mr. Gerald Chan. It will be a night that I will remember forever.
\nFor the past year or so, our family has been reading the bible together. I think that this is very important for the spiritual growth of each one of us. We have read Psalms, Proverbs, Romans, and a few other passages as well. I will cherish these times for the rest of my life.
\nToday my father is doing quite well. He has spent the last many months working on this book. He seems to be working just as much as he did when he was pastoring. It was very encouraging to see him wake up (before me) early in the morning and write. And, at the moment, he has finished it, and is waiting for me to finish this article. (He asks me every single day about it.) He seems happy that he has finished the book. He now is invited to speak at various churches, almost one per week, telling people his story of how he battled and defeated cancer. I do feel that he has made an impact in many peoples\u2019 lives. After each service, I always ask him how the service went, he always replies: \u201cOh, very good! A few people put their hands up to believe!\u201d I am very happy about this, and am hoping one day that I can reach people the way that he does.
\nI do believe that, throughout all the suffering in my family, God has a plan for me. He has made me the person whom I have become. It was indeed his goal to mold me the way that he wanted me to be. If it weren\u2019t for the many suffering, would I be the person I am? Definitely not, I believe that living through life without any struggles is the easy way out. Without trials, why would one need to believe in God? They could just live life the way they wanted, without having anything to worry about. I know people like this. I am sometimes jealous of them, but I remind myself of Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for those who love God.\u201d This verse is hung in our dining room, and it is very true. In the end, God will take care of us. He has a plan for everyone. It was His plan for our family to go through this huge trial, and it was also His plan for our family to search Him and to live according to His Word. This is where we are today, my family and I are doing our best, with God\u2019s help, to do His will.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My father Written by Stephen Lai I am very glad and privileged that my father has asked me to write something for his book. I am also glad that you have taken the time to read this book. It is now 1999, and getting closer and closer to the millennium. All these events happened in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[4],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2121"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2122,"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2121\/revisions\/2122"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.rainbowpaullai.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}